The Tsunami of Grief

My dad died 3 years and a couple of days ago. I spent this last week, buried in my work, spending time with friends, reading new research, basically making sure that I had so much shit to do that I didn’t have time to think about the anniversary of his death. It worked, until Sunday! Sunday I didn’t have a full day of clients. Sunday I packed up the last of my things at my old house. Sunday I worked on getting caught up from a whirlwind week. Sunday I waited for a text from a friend. Sunday I dropped my soda on the way in to the office. Sunday sitting at my desk, I experienced the tsunami of grief.

I was sitting at my desk, working on an email, music playing in the background. There was a tingle in my brain, then warmth spread over my face, then tears stung my eyes. Before I knew what had happened I was sobbing, tears falling on keyboard, the heaviness of loss weighing me down, and I couldn’t breathe. The grief was so overwhelming I needed someone who knew me just to tell me it was ok. I called Shanna, she picked up and before I could even say a word, she said, “what’s wrong”? I sobbed my story to her and just she listened. She reminded me that I am allowed to have bad days and that my emotions are all valid. She told me the same things I would say to a client who was in the same place. We talked, I cried, and then I took a deep breath.

Grief can be a tsunami, like I experienced today. Sometimes it is a small tickle in the back of your mind. I recently was talking to a client about what I call “scheduling grief” it is taking time to experience your grief, so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. Normally when I start to see signs in my life that I need to grieve a loss in my life, I will take the time to put aside a half hour to “do my grief thing”. The thing is, this time I didn’t want to, I thought if I just power through the week I could make it. The lesson, we all experience loss and we all need to grieve those losses. Take the time to let yourself fully feel the emotion, find a way to process the emotion, and finally… Breathe.

Jenn’s Journey – Author of My Own Story

I have written dozens of blogs, but nobody ever saw them. For a long time I thought that I have to have research and facts. The blogs need to be well thought out, perfectly written, and relevant. If I have learned anything over the past 25 years of coaching, advising, and educating is that the journey is the most important part of life. As a coach, adviser, educator, and mentor, my clients learn from my expertise, my knowledge, and my skills. However, what resonates with them, is my experiences. I love that I can share my experiences of life, change, struggle, and joy with them and they can see their lives reflected in mine. When we struggle we want someone to sit with us and say “me too”. The way the universe works is as my clients grow, change, struggle, achieve, and move along their journey, so do I. Everyday my journey shows me new opportunities for growth, I find my self in the hole of struggle, or on the summit of joy. Somehow there is always a story that resonates for my clients and they breathe in, breathe out and embrace their own story.

So here we are, the beginning of the next part of my journey, sharing my story, my thoughts, my struggles, my joy, my heartache, and everything in between with you. There is bound to be some facts, figures, and references to research, but more than anything I will share my journey. Take what works, leave what doesn’t, and remember we are the authors of our own stories.

Hang on and enjoy the journey.

Jenn